I cried myself to sleep last night which means my eyes are puffy and swollen shut this morning, making typing this early even more difficult.

Joshy did great at his first day of preschool yesterday and so did I. No tears and I didn't even call to check on him. Can u believe it?

I have always been a creature of habit and I am not one to deal well with change. Pretty much anyone who knows me can attest to that. So, the tears last night came from my toes when it hit me like a TON of bricks that my entire life as Iknow it is never going to be the same and it makes me SAD.

I know that I will fall into this new routine and it will be fine, but for now, I JUST DON"T LIKE IT ONE BIT.
Hearing my Aunt Sue cry breaks my heart cause there is NOTHING that I can do to make it better. She has always been there to make it better for me, so I just feel totally helpless.
I am the caretaker, the strong one and I am crumbling.

It really does STINK and oh great, I am crying again. UGH.